Single and surviving alone

So as you all know, I broke up from my long term partner and starting over being a single woman again. Only difference is, I am living alone and if things were different, in the sense that if both my parents were still around, I would move back in with them…but I’m not. I have the support from my relatives and close friends but sometimes living on your own can have it’s mental challenges. The ability to have your own freedom and not worry about anyone else around you in a home environment is great and you have only yourself. But once the curtains are pulled back, and there is quiet, that’s when the cog wheels in your head start to turn. It can be very easy to think and overthink, then overanalyse and worst of all, Worrying! From the trauma that I experienced so young, I became an obsessive worrier. Worrying when people were coming back from somewhere or if someone took ages to call or not answer their phones. It drove my family mad but when you suffer with worry and anxiety, it’s so hard to control it and stay calm. So my aim is to try and stay as distracted as possible. Watching plenty of Netflix, Amazon, all the streaming services really help. I’m now attending a class weekly in drama and screen acting, which so far I am really enjoying. Finally dipping my toes back into the water again..

Another thing you have to do is survive. You have to budget and be very smart and frugal with your finances. I have always been very frugal with money so that isn’t an issue for me. But with the rising costs of pretty much everything, you have to think smart. Try and go to supermarkets and find products that have been reduced in price, only buy what you need – the necessities. I am living in a house share so luckily, the bills are inclusive with the monthly rent. And you haven’t got to worry about the huge main monthly outgoings. Another thing, if you’re living on your own is give up or reduce your expensive habits. If you smoke or drink, best cut that down straight away. Or better yet, Quit! You won’t be doing yourself any favours. If you commute into London by tube or train and have the option to work from home if you can, Great! That’s another money saving benefit. Unfortunately, if the job you are in is causing you to struggle to make ends meet, then the harsh reality is, get a new and better one. There are always jobs out there and if you are that desperate to get a job you take absolutely anything. You can’t be a job snob in these harsh times.

A final thing to add. Sometimes it’s usually said by some people that just because you’re single, automatically means alone and unhappy. No, that’s not the case at all. Some people out there, including myself, are single because they are finding themselves and being the best version of themselves before they involve someone else into their lives again. Self- acceptance is the main thing. Finding your inner peace and happiness within yourself then the rest will follow through.

At the moment, I am surrounding myself with people who bring me positivity and spending time with my close friends. A kind stranger who came into my life most recently, has now become a good friend of mine and a mentor too. Giving useful life advice and helping me gain my confidence back. No rush. Just taking it one day at a time..

Much love Xxx

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