Mental health and living life

Ok, so what can I say about mental health? This is a very tricky one as it encompasses emotional, psychological and social behaviour that affects our mental well being. Our state of mind. The way we think and feel and act upon it. In these current times as a society, we have become a lot more aware of mental health and that more people are able to speak up so we do our best to get people the help that they need.

Now this is all wonderful and amazing! However, is still something that a lot of the older generations seem to struggle to understand. Growing up in their generation, particularly with young boys, it was a case of that if you cried, it was a sign of weakness. The ‘stiff upper lip’ generation. If you were feeling depressed or sad, you just had to get on with with it, which a lot of people back then seemed to cope with that attitude but it didn’t mean that the way they were feeling was going to disappear. So those feelings eventually became repressed or ‘bottled up’ and would have a negative impact on them as adults now. They would find it difficult to control their anger, they would avoid anything negative and push it out their conscious mind. There’s also the physical health problems that come with it:

• High blood pressure
• Low immune system
• Pain
• Low moods
• High anxiety

Now that us, millennials, are more accepting and understanding of mental health, we have learned that it is very good to talk. That is very important. Even if it’s a simple question of, How are you today? In a text or a call, it can really make someone’s day so they don’t feel alone and that they have the reassurance that somebody cares enough for their well-being.

When I was growing up, I had heard about mental illness, but then obviously experienced it with my dad when he had depression. Now that both my parents are no longer here, I have my brother and close family and friends for support. Yes, I haven’t got the core people in my life to vent to anymore and that will always kill me inside. But what I have now is slowly healing those deep wounds.

What we also need to be mindful of, is that nobody should tell you how to live your life. If you have been through extreme trauma like myself , you will know how difficult it is to get through life’s biggest challenges that come your way. I can admit that there have been times that my mental health has been up and down. However, it is more good days now than bad ones which is a positive thing. Unfortunately, you can have family members or friends who try to in their best interests, advise what you need to do and that wasn’t the right thing to say to somebody at 23 how to live their life. It can really stick in your mind. A few examples are: ‘ You are too young for your age!’ You need to reinvent yourself!’ ‘You aren’t strong enough!’ It had really affected me psychologically, as I felt like I could not do anything right, that they seemed to pity or judge me. But I had experienced two huge family tragedies from 14 and experiencing life without a parent and at 23, learned how to live independently all on my own without another parent. And they had the right to tell me how to live my life? Well, I proved them wrong and have achieved so much since then. If that isn’t what it takes to make a person strong, still too young and they still need to re-invent themselves then they are very wrong. Very wrong indeed.

So I would say, please don’t be afraid to speak to someone. That it is okay to feel sad, it’s okay to vent your feelings to people who care about you and who you trust. Also, life is for living and live life the way you decide. It’s your choice, your path. You are born into this life so you can live it.